I am growing _cold and numb, darkness surrounds me. I am frozen to death- where I can’t feel anything. Strange, that I don’t even want to try to be alive, to feel life around me because I am losing the will to do so.
It really hurts …somewhere deep down inside which can not be felt or touched, but it is there. The pain is very much there. Day after day, its presence haunts me and a vast ocean of queries boils up inside me, constantly trying to break free and conquer my soul.
My soul has been chained for so long…. chains of vulnerability and reality. The reality of being degraded, disliked; the reality of suffering and then learning to love it. The reality of seeing momentary flashes of hope and watch them fade away.
The numbness is growing now to almost becoming a part of me. It has conquered my soul. I have come a long way but I am still clueless about my destination (Why have I traveled this far? Is it for love, for fame or for power?) I am not sure. Sometimes, I stare for hours to at end _ thinking, searching, maybe for clues!
I am feeling like a stranger in a new land but I am ready to gamble with my fate, ready to meet new beautiful faces who might have ugly dispositions.
But I dare to go on….
Taking things as they come. Move on with what I have been given in life; playing my part positively. I choose to possess the feeling of being a human_ with all the pain, sufferings, failures; but above all, the silent prayers for a better world tomorrow…My world!!
